Written, first draft, October 31, 2022
Published November 19
Jeremiah 20:7-9, 11-13
You have deceived me, O LORD, and I was deceived.
You have overcome me and prevailed.
I am a laughingstock all day long;
everyone mocks me.
8For whenever I speak, I cry out;
I proclaim violence and destruction.
For the word of the LORD has become to me
a reproach and derision all day long.
9If I say, “I will not mention Him
or speak any more in His name,”
His message becomes a fire burning in my heart,
shut up in my bones,
and I become weary of holding it in,
and I cannot prevail…
11But the LORD is with me like a fearsome warrior.
Therefore, my persecutors will stumble and will not prevail.
Since they have not succeeded, they will be utterly put to shame,
with an everlasting disgrace that will never be forgotten.
12O LORD of Hosts, who examines the righteous,
who sees the heart and mind,
let me see Your vengeance upon them,
for to You I have committed my cause.
13Sing to the LORD!
Praise the LORD!
For He rescues the life of the needy
from the hands of evildoers.
“Trick or Treat?” Yes, on Halloween, those are the words I was thinking after I had poured out my heart to Jesus about how utterly exhausted and disillusioned I was about Him because of how upside-down my life seemed to be compared to what I expected it to be, when held up to my puny-minded idea of how “eternal life” was supposed to manifest to me. I’m not surprised the “answer” to my dissertation to Him was “trick or treat?”; He’s funny that way, the way He uses man’s holidays to drive home a point. But He’s more than funny; He’s remarkable, the way He in fact does use the darkest of themes in this world and turn them toward His glorious plan. He drove that home when my son wanted to read the body book tonight, and the section was on the skeleton. Interesting how that really supports the whole theme of what Jesus seemed to be driving at tonight–what my foundation is, what I believe at the very core of my being is God’s truth. And what do I believe at the core of my being–that which I will automatically act upon when under stress, like Jeremiah when he was so depressed? Well, God has put me under a lot of physical stress, so much so, that my brain has been in such a fog that after I had slogged in my “prayer closet” through the emotional volcano surfacing, I had no choice but to act upon one principle: walk by faith, based on the evidence, one step at a time. This is what Peter had to do when he came out of the boat on a stormy lake to walk to Jesus on top of the water. All the elements were against him. All he needed was to fix his eyes on who he knew Jesus to be–the all-powerful God who had never failed him.
“Now faith is the certainty of things hoped for, a proof of things not seen” (Heb 11:1, NASB).
Jesus proved to His disciples on that lake that He indeed had all power to do anything He wanted with the created order. He thwarted the law that causes heavier mass to sink in liquid (Peter walked on the water). He stopped the storm in a moment. And He caused the boat to reach the other side in a moment, thereby manipulating time and space (John 6:21). If this God can and does manipulate our environment in this way, it’s impossible to really know until we die what is true of that which is subjective, according to what I see or perceive, because God is the master of manipulating evidence, right? He can take the same evidence for one person and use it to further condemn that person who has chosen not to believe in Jesus, because that evidence becomes to that person’s worldview framework (his skeleton) more proof for his framework. Likewise, that same evidence can substantiate the believer's understanding. Just like a vine wraps around whatever object is near it, so our minds, using the material given them, wrap around whatever worldview framework we have set up internally.
In light of this reality, the only sure safeguard to living in a way that is pleasing to the LORD is by committing our way to Him and walking by faith, according to the written Word of truth God has given mankind. In other words, God will reward us to keep us in His will as we walk by faith according to conviction in the gospel of Jesus Christ and its application to every moment of our lives. He rewards His children by giving them a framework to wrap His material around in a way that leads to knowing Him in truth. If we deviate from walking by faith and start walking by feelings, He will let us drift. To fear the LORD is to fear such discipline.
Now having recognized God’s ability to manipulate matter, I believe we must recognize what He can do versus what He generally does do. Faith recognizes that for the sake of conveying His faithful character, He has set up laws in this creation that He rarely violates. In that light, I believe He’s given us five senses and laws of nature as evidence that He has established foundations on which we can build. If He has established natural foundations, will He not also establish spiritual foundations? Without foundations, there is no solid ground on which to set up all the “evidence” for life’s purpose. Why else would Jesus say, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain fell, the torrents raged, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because its foundation was on the rock.
26But everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain fell, the torrents raged, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell—and great was its collapse!” (Matt 7:24-27).
Now let me rewind. I want to take you back to the deep musing that led me to these conclusions, and I want to show you how you can see this life in the here and now as actually touching eternity. We’re not waiting on eternal life, friends. We’re either living it now, or we’re sealing our eternal death.
This all started with what I perceive to be the climax of letdown after a climax year. Trying to make sense of keeping on in the mundane of the world after a year like this year must be kind of like what soldiers feel after coming home from war. This year, God turned me upside down spiritually; He entered into my world in a way that shattered it. It was a spiritual earthquake that utterly toppled everything that could not stand apart from the absolute truth of who God is and who I am “from Him, through Him, and to Him” (Rom 11:36). How do I move on? I’m faced with the daunting mountain of having to overcome my health problems again, warring with the possibility that I might have to severely limit my diet again, overwhelmed with fatigue that haunts me like a ghost and makes my life feel utterly agonizing, and dead tired after the greatest battle of my life that has lasted for nine months now. (The battle has been in re-discovering and seeking to live by the unshakeable foundation of eternal life.) How do I move on? (I want to add a postlude to this paragraph; since writing this, God has significantly turned everything on its head for me, greatly strengthened me, and thrust me into a significant amount of ministry–and that is just another demonstration of how God can work on a dime. He was using a low for me to force me into this meditation.)
I have become convinced that there’s no emotional or spiritual experience that can prove eternal life. It can help with the evidence, but can it really be conclusive? I propose not. Jesus really put on a show for me this year by using circumstantial evidence to “prove” things that He led me to believe He was going to do. Then, He would fail to do it. He did plenty of the opposite too–to show me the contrast. He did that to lead me here. His goal is a deep communion with Him, not our comfort zone. How do I walk on such stormy waters?
I’ve determined, after a very deep philosophical analysis, that the only way to live is based on the evidence–choosing the evidence that is most-compelling as the framework on which to live, as proven or substantiated by physical evidence (note the contrast between how I am using emotional and spiritual evidence versus physical evidence; God seems to make a clear distinction here: He uses the physical evidence to put His truth in stone). I’m convinced that the Bible and the gospel is indeed the most-compelling of all evidence. In brief, here are a few reasons:
It is the only book in the world that is perfectly substantiated by physical evidence (archeology, observation–such as the laws of nature, consistency with the natural laws, consistency with the conscience of moral law written on every human heart, and much more).
It is the only book that perfectly unifies in its message and typology, despite having been written through many different human beings spanning thousands of years. As the Holy Spirit opens the Bible to a person’s mind who is seeking Him by faith, its perfectly unified message becomes overwhelmingly evident, and the single author (I AM) who inspired the words of all its scribes becomes undeniable.
The gospel is the only claim among religions in which God breaks into man’s weakness and brokenness to bring hope and resolution without man’s help. God Himself works salvation for mankind through Jesus Christ. The only command we must obey is to trust fully in the work He did for us. All other religions depend on man contributing some kind of work to “secure” a salvation that remains uncertain.
The gospel is the only claim among religions that is strongly substantiated by physical proof (Jesus rising from the dead, among all His other physical miracles that were witnessed by thousands of people). For example, in the Muslim religion, Muhammed was the only person who “witnessed” the spiritual encounter that resulted in claims that he set forth as from God. The gospel evidence of spiritual reality that was substantiated by physical proofs, was witnessed by thousands who gave their very lives to avoid contradicting their testimony.
There are false gospels that skew the meaning of the Bible and “prove” their interpretations through spiritual proofs. I think specifically of the general Pentecostal movement. There are many powerful signs in this movement that cause people to lose control of themselves, speak different languages, physically react, and even “heal.” The devil can heal. He is a great magician. If he manipulated the body of a person to cause an ailment, can he not just as easily undo the ailment? In this way, he “proves” through healing miracles that he is “God.” He is furthermore given power from God Himself to manipulate the elements and therefore the evidence (see the Biblical book of Job), according to God’s purposes in this for His glory and to test hearts and motives. But despite the devil’s fanfare, he is the Antichrist. (Consider how Pharaoh's magicians could imitate many of the signs that Moses performed before the king of Egypt to try to convince him that God sent him to bring Israel out of Egypt.) The only one who has ever raised the dead is I AM. God has never recorded a time when He gave such a power to the devil. The gospel proves what no other religion proves, just by the evidence of death conquered.
The Bible and the gospel are not just historically proven; they continue to prove themselves by the resurrection of the dead. Every man is born with a nature of death–living for oneself instead of by and for the Creator, I AM (which is in essence a flower cut from the root that may look alive but which will never again live). But if a man (or woman, but I am using “man” as a general term) suddenly changes his disposition from self-love to self-denial out of love for God and others, that is a miracle of resurrection. It is like reconnecting the stem of the cut flower to the root. I’m not talking about a man deciding to try harder to love, which may result in his self-sacrifice. A man with a nature of self-love and glory can choose that for his own benefits, and we discussed that in an earlier post. I’m talking about the very desires and will being changed that cause a man to realize that life lived separate from the will and purposes of God is a dead life. Therefore, this realization causes the man to die to his own will and purposes to seek out and live for the will and purposes of I AM alone, for the glory of I AM alone. Such a man commits His way to I AM and commits his eternity and joy and glory to I AM, seeing that it is all wrapped up in I AM. Jesus said, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matt 10:39).
Now for the sake of argument, I stepped back to assume that all the evidence that I have just summarized here could, in fact, be manipulated in a way that transcends time and space. And if it is manipulated, and I am deceived by the evidence, then for what should I live?
And I came to this conclusion: should not life for its own value, be for the goal of spending it in greatest joy and helping others spend it in greatest joy? If this is the only place we are to have any joy, then surely we must pursue joy! How interesting that the book of Ecclesiastes substantiates this conclusion: “Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in all the labor one does under the sun during the few days of life that God has given him—for this is his lot” (Eccl 5:18; 8:15). “Enjoy life with your beloved wife all the days of the fleeting life that God has given you under the sun—all your fleeting days. For this is your portion in life and in your labor under the sun” (Eccl 9:9).
The question is then, what exactly does bring us true joy? There are plenty of very wealthy and powerful people who have committed suicide out of pure misery. As I pondered the concept of pursuing joy, I realized that living according to the golden rule and the commandments and the way of Jesus–not outwardly but from the heart that truly loves their way–is indeed the way to find fullest joy, for in such a life is satisfaction found that is transcendent to us as we drink of the transcendent fountain of God’s glory. It is indeed the path of least internal misery and shame, and greatest satisfaction, and this is in itself evidence for the legitimacy of the gospel claim. I think that many people, even in the modern “karma” movement, have found this fountain and tasted its sweetness without having realized its source or ultimate goal.
Luke 12:19-21:
Then I will say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take it easy. Eat, drink, and be merry!” ’
20But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be required of you. Then who will own what you have accumulated?’
21This is how it will be for anyone who stores up treasure for himself but is not rich toward God.”
1 Cor 15:30-32, 45
And why do we endanger ourselves every hour? 31I face death every day, brothers, as surely as I boast about you in Christ Jesus our Lord. 32If I fought wild beasts in Ephesus for human motives, what did I gain? If the dead are not raised,
“Let us eat and drink,
for tomorrow we die.”
So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being;” the last Adam a life-giving spirit.
46The spiritual, however, was not first, but the natural, and then the spiritual. 47The first man was of the dust of the earth, the second man from heaven. 48As was the earthly man, so also are those who are of the earth; and as is the heavenly man, so also are those who are of heaven. 49And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so also shall we bear the likeness of the heavenly man.
John 3:5-8
Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. 6Flesh is born of flesh, but spirit is born of the Spirit. 7Do not be amazed that I said, ‘You must be born again.’ 8The wind blows where it wishes. You hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
So then, it appears, not just from Scripture’s counsel but also from logic, that spiritual resurrection from the death of self-gratification is indeed the way to true joy, for our natural souls tell us there is something more to life than living for the moment. It is no surprise, therefore, that we would find this passage in Scripture:
Gal 5:16-22:
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; 20idolatry and sorcery; hatred, discord, jealousy, and rage; rivalries, divisions, factions, 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
I laugh because of the evidence that keeps overwhelming me, and I have deviated again from my thesis: “Now for the sake of argument, I stepped back to assume that all the evidence that I have just summarized here could, in fact, be manipulated in a way that transcends time and space.” So let us continue to philosophize. Bear with me as I talk as one who has no conception of anything beyond this world except the overwhelming reality of a Creator, for the sake of argument.
Even if all this world, including man, is–like the flower of the field–gone forever upon its death, then for what is its glory? For what is its beauty? I asked this to myself as I was staring at a vase full of cut dahlias, which mean, flowers of the valley–apropos to the line in Psalm 23: “...I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” and the verse on my phone this week: “As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. For the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more” (Ps 103:15-16). I know how quickly my dahlias are going to die. I am enjoying them for a moment. For what purpose did they live? Indeed, to give me joy for the moment, they are beautifying my kitchen counter. And how many moments of our lives are like that? Momentary joys. Then I thought of what I imagine of God–that He takes pleasure in watching the unfolding of earth’s story, man’s story–the drama of it. It gives Him joy perhaps the way my flowers are giving me joy. Is that insignificant? No, surely a moment of joy in God is of ultimate significance, for He will want more of such moments if He enjoys those moments, and thus, the joy I brought Him in that moment will be like a seed to sprout joy as God creates it again in another round of life–for eternity. Furthermore, the memory of my life will be forever etched in God’s mind, and therefore, in Him, I am immortalized, even if I am forever annihilated after death. (Interesting that Paul says the same thing: “‘For in Him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are His offspring.’” - Acts 17:28) So could it be that the very collection of all these moments of joy we strive for are the very story of all the ages–God’s story? That God is building His own collection of victories in the ages that will climax in the ultimate joy that cannot end?
In light of just the thought that a faithful life–even as insignificant as a cut flower before God–could add to God’s collection of joyful memories and perhaps to a climax of ultimate joy, should I not seek to run this race with greatest dignity? Should I not strive to overcome the foes of my conviction to the fullest and to live according to the model of the worldview of which I am persuaded, by its evidence, to the greatest measure possible, though imperfectly due to my imperfect nature? And will not such a life lived give God joy to watch? Will it not give Him more joy than the life lived with little effort given, little dignity, little purpose, little conviction, little fight? How we ourselves applaud the hero who has striven through deepest waters over the coward who was given all on a “silver platter.” Indeed, we scorn such a player. What if it is, that God keeps piling the challenges on the plates of His star players just to prove the dignity He’s given them, just to boast in them as they reflect His strength? And at the least, to get from them a rush of excitement as one watches the unfolding of a play or a war or struggle among the heroes, let alone the purging effect it has on them. Why did everyone love Hunger Games? Interesting that Scripture again substantiates my reasoning: “These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true Witness, the Originator of God’s creation. 15I know your deeds; you are neither cold nor hot. How I wish you were one or the other! 16So because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to vomit you out of My mouth!” (Rev 3:14-16)
Yet that brings me to the nagging question–what exactly is a faithful life? What is worthy in God’s mind as dignified or undignified? What is hot and what is cold? Jesus is saying that He prefers hot or cold, probably just as surely as we prefer a villain in a movie that is at least powerful and devoted to his evil cause more than one who is impotent and wishy-washy. Yet we still despise the villain. How can I be sure that my cause is not on the side of what God considers the villain to His own cause? How can I know His cause? I mean, really know it and not just guess it?
Such questions force me back to the evidence. The evidence points to the Scriptures, the holy Bible, to show me the way of truth; therefore, I must combine the rock-solid foundation found there with the applications of my life as they relate to it to reach hopeful meaning. The very fact God has brought me here, to this point, is proof that the climax of this year did not fizzle for me, but it in fact staged this very movement forward in understanding. If I am what I believe I am from the evidence–a daughter of I AM, having been born again to new life by the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ–then I cannot fail, I will not fail, and I will be a hero on His stage as He puts me through the fires to refine my faith. That thesis brings me back to the rock-solid foundation that I believe in, not a hopeful philosophy of joy. It brings me back to the philosophy of joy that is based on the mediation of Jesus Christ for a fallen race that, without Him, would only cause God anger and grief because of its never-ending failure to perfectly reflect His glory. And why would He want that to remain before His face or to consume His memories? This flip-side to our coin should give us pause and terror without hope of perfection.
Now let's go back to the initial earthquake that made me question everything–the reality that God could manipulate evidence. In light of that, if we live according to His paradigm as laid out in Scripture, I still think I have evidence to prove that He will keep His promises to reward the overcomers, because to reward us is to reward Himself for making a glorious spectacle, through us, of that which is beautiful, loving, and holy. And since I believe I have no choice but to live by evidence, then I must ground myself on the rock of its truth and act upon it. Is it not sweet evidence? It leads to joy!
*All Scripture is in the BSB (Berean Study Bible) version unless otherwise noted.
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